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Welcome to the Xbox Interactive Online Support

Some of the IGN Board pranksters decided it'd be fun to harass those salespersons over at the Xbox Online Support site. Alls I've got to say is that it'd be funny to read their IP blacklist after all of this. =)

Inebriator:

( Narwhal has joined )
Narwhal: I'm siiiiiiiinging in the rain....
Narwhal: ...just siiiiiining in the rain...
Narwhal: Currently pro-xbox...
Narwhal: slipping...
Narwhal: slipping...
Narwhal: starting to like gamecube...
Narwhal: slipping...
Narwhal: slipping...
Narwhal: doubting purchase of xbox...
Narwhal: slipping...
Narwhal: slipping...
Narwhal: gamecube looks mighty fine...
Narwhal: slipping some more...
Narwhal: that's it, you've ruined this for me, xbox support!
Narwhal: i'm going to law school!

toberespected:

Question: Is the xbox really 2 tons?

( xbox_hater has joined )
xbox_hater: Hello? Are you there? Mr xbox rep?
xbox_hater: Well?
xbox_hater: Don't reply then, you assy motherf*****g piece of no-good s**t
xbox_hater: HELLO?
xbox_hater: Gayass f*gg*t, answer me, damnit, I need my question answered
xbox_hater: I don't have all f******g day, you know...
xbox_hater: f******g dirtbag
xbox_hater: you f*******g dyke, go shag your lesbians b*tch friends
( Kar has joined )
xbox_hater: Hey, if you don't answer my f******g question, I'll be forced to have anal sex with my mom because I'm so f******g bored...
Kar: Due to your profanity, I'm ending this chat. Please not that all IPs and chats are recorded.
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--KirkAngel--:

( KirkAngelIGN has joined )
KirkAngelIGN: Hello
KirkAngelIGN: Can the Xbox be lethal if dropped from a two-story building?
( Jean-Francois has joined )
Jean-Francois : Apparently you do not have a serious Xbox inquiry, therefore I will end the chat. I would also like to mention that these chats are monitored and we also have your IP address. Thank you.
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oodevin:

( Jill Valentine has joined )
( Patrick has joined )
Jill Valentine: Hi. Have you seen the Resident Evil remake for GameCube? Those graphics look sweet! Can XBox do that?
More than 5 minutes pass
Jill Valentine: Okay... maybe I'm in the wrong place for this... sorry.
Jill Valentine: Hmmm.... well it's a wonderfully green site you guys have going here.
Jill Valentine: Thanks for your time. Bye.

gamer1210:

Question:Is microsoft in the video game business just for the money?

Klopek: Uhhhhhh, hello?
Patrick: Hello and welcome to Xbox Interactive Online Support. My name's
Patrick. Please wait while I search for an answer for you.
Klopek: Purple monkey dishwasher
Klopek: I want to sex y0u
Patrick: Xbox Interactive Online Support is intended for presales information
and general questions about the Xbox for people interested in buying the system.
Seeing you've already shown that you have an Xbox and your questions are not
presales related I will have disconnect the chat.

Dark-007

Topic: Yes, I'd like to know if Xbox is only console capable of per-pixel
vertex shading. And what type of hit does it take on the GPU compared to the GCN
when both units are fur-rendering.

Dark-007: Hi
Dark-007: This is VERY important to me, I'm buying an Xbox tonight...
Dark-007: Still looking for an automated response I assume?
Patrick:
Hello! My name's Patrick. I'm primarily here to help people who need more
information on the Xbox console before they decide to buy it. Technical support
and customer service is done over the phone. You can reach them, toll free, at
1-800-4MY-XBOX (1-800-469-9269), from 8 a.m. until midnight, Central time, 7
days a week.

Dark-007: Okay.
Dark-007: I have more q's then.
Dark-007: Why is Xbox failing in Japan and Europe and Australia?
Dark-007: You're a computer, aren't you. Just like Bill Gates to hire a
computer-man...
Dark-007: *pours glass of water on Patrick*
Dark-007: DIE!!!!
Dark-007: Patrick?
Patrick: am sorry. But I must warn you that these conversations are monitored
and recorded. Furthermore, your IP address is recorded with us. Repeated,
Disruptive abuse of this system will result in action being taken against you
through your ISP.

thecube3

Question: Could you crush a human with an xbox?

( ben has joined )
( Kar has joined )
ben: so......
Kar: Hi, Ben! Welcome to the Xbox Interactive Online Support. My name is Kar.
Kar: Do you have any serious Xbox questions?
ben: Oh, um.....will there be a kabuki warriors sequel?
Kar: There's no reports of that.

netghst1

Topic: Does the Xbox support playback of Playstation 2 and Gamecube games?

Justin Lipp: hello?
Justin Lipp: Are you there?
Justin Lipp: Patrick?
Justin Lipp: Patrick?
Justin Lipp: I have a question for you
Justin Lipp: answer me
Justin Lipp: I'm a paying customer
Justin Lipp: I want to ask you something
Justin Lipp: Will you have my baby?
Justin Lipp: :P
Patrick: The Xbox video game system is designed only to play game discs licensed by Microsoft for the Xbox video game system. This does not include burned disks, PC game discs, or discs from other video game systems. The Xbox console can play DVD movies and compact discs with the official Compact Disc logo.
Patrick: I'm terminating this chat due to your inappropriate behavior. Remember, we have logged your IP.

Mordemox

Question: Is the XBOX big enough to pack a lunch in?

( Mike Rotch has joined )
( Kar has joined )
Kar: Hi, Mike! Welcome to the Xbox Interactive Online Support. My name is Kar.
Mike Rotch: Seriously, is it?
Kar: That would depend. Do you have any serious questions?
Mike Rotch: Actaully, yes. Sorry.
Mike Rotch: Does the XBOX have any upgradeable features, like the CPU, etc.?
Kar: Sorry, but it doesn't have any upgrades for it's internal components.
Mike Rotch: Yes, not currently, but is that a feature that will be available?
Kar: There's none in the forseable furture.
Mike Rotch: I see...
Mike Rotch: ***** MOTHER****ER **** SUCKER ***
Kar: Please refrain from using profanity, or I'll end this chat. Please note that all chats are recorded, as is your IP. Please review the Terms of Use for this site.
Kar: http://www.xbox.com/termsofuse.htm
Mike Rotch: What the hell are you going to do if you really DO have my IP?
Kar: I'm not sure that you realize this, but the IP traces back to you, and we can take actions against you for violation of the Terms of Use for this site. Thiss chat will now end.
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urusai2000

TheJone: Do you reccoment kabuki warriors? I hear its great
TheJone: hello?
Patrick: Sorry, I'm not familiar with the game.
TheJone: OK, what about Halo?
Patrick: Seeing as how Halo is the number one seller for Xbox games, I'd have to say yes.
TheJone: But do you have an opinion?
TheJone: or are you not allowed to express yourself in this chat?
TheJone: meh, my brother wants me to play smash brothers melee. thank you for your time.

ngc123

cheesecheese: Now, does the Xbox's SIZE effect it's performance, because I have noticed it is SUBSTANTIALLY large compared to the PS2 and GCN
Jean-Francois : Well the Xbox comes with a hard drive, something that both PS2 and GC don't have.
cheesecheese: I see.
cheesecheese: Is that why it is so big?
cheesecheese: Jean, please respnd.
cheesecheese: I want to buy an xbox tonight, it just that youre taking way too long man....
cheesecheese: .... HELP ME!!
Jean-Francois : Yes, it is why.
cheesecheese: Can you awnser my question please?
cheesecheese: Please?
cheesecheese: JEan. help me
cheesecheese: Please
Jean-Francois : Sure, what is the question?
cheesecheese: Why is the xbox so big and IS IT a HEALTH hazard?
cheesecheese: HELLO!?
cheesecheese: Dude, i'm on cable, this should NOT take this long! I am also on Microsoft XP and using Internet explorer.... There might be my problem
cheesecheese: hey, bitch, new question -- How closely related to my PC is the XBOX??
cheesecheese: HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO?!
cheesecheese: JEAN!?

Inebriator

Question: Why did Microsoft choose green, a color so often affiliated with Satan, as the primary color for their console?

( Teal-Hat has joined )
( Kar has joined )
Teal-Hat: Greetings, Kar.
Kar: Hi! Welcome to the Xbox Interactive Online Support. My name is Kar.
Kar: Do you have any serious Xbox questions? I've reviewed your previous chat questions, and you've been disruptive so far.
Teal-Hat: Me? Disruptive? I just want answers.
Kar: Again, do you ahve any serious Xbox questions? If not, I'll end this chat.
Teal-Hat: Had I not mentioned the 'affiliated with Satan' part, would this be deemed serious?
Kar: There's no relation between the color of the Xbox and any religious parties.
Teal-Hat: Well then, why green? Snazzyness? Allure?
Kar: The decision was made by the marketing department, who's documentations we don't have access to.
Teal-Hat: So out of a poll of sorts, green was most popular?
Kar: Again, we don't have info on why the decision was made, as it was done by another department. I'm sure our Customer Care team would be able to answer you.
Kar: You can reach them at 1-800-4MY-XBOX (1-800-469-9269), and their hours of operation is from 9am to 1am EST. It's toll free for North America.
Teal-Hat: Do you think it was 'neon green' specifically, or did the people just like plain old green?
Teal-Hat: And surely you can't deny the political affiliation to the Green Party.
Kar: Again, we don't have any info on that.
Kar: Since it appears that you don't have any other questions, this chat session will now end.
Teal-Hat: So if I somehow started having fun while playing Xbox, you'd trace my ISP and end the game session!? Huh?
Kar: For your convenience and future reference, you will receive by e-mail a detailed transcript of our chat, including all site links. Thank you for using Xbox Interactive Online Support. If you need further assistance, please come back and visit us again.